Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”
I meant to get this up yesterday, but Wednesday afternoon life got a little bit more difficult…in a spiritual-attack-what-do-we-do-now-can’t-we-just-catch-a-break sort of difficult. Everything is okay – or it will be, with time – but I responded in the worst possible way.
Wednesday night, we ended up near Chick-Fil-A and I had an ice cream.
Thursday morning I woke up with the worst headache I’ve ever had in my life. Almost considered a trip to the ER but got through, knowing it was a combination of the ice cream and stress.
Thursday night, I had a bag of m&m’s, my favorite comfort food.
To be honest, they tasted weird. I’m just not used to that sort of sweet anymore and when I do eat chocolate, it’s dark that tends to be at least 85-90% cacao.
I slept horribly.
Friday morning, the difficult got even more difficult.
And I ate two donuts.
Here’s the thing: I can’t eat gluten. I don’t have celiac, but I do know I am very sensitive…I just didn’t know where discomfort turned to pain. I’ve mistakenly eaten small amounts of gluten in the past year and half, and ended up with a little mental fogginess, headaches, some minor aches and pains. Nothing too horrible and, while I know it’s something I need to just stay away from, that question of where bad hits horrible lies.
Apparently, two donuts is the line. I ended up on the couch all day, my joints hurting and anxiety mounting. My headache banging. Hands shaking. Difficulty breathing. And the aches I get a few inches on either side of my elbows and knees and hips – the ones that seem to bore into my bones and that I haven’t felt in over a year – hit hard.
In my devotional guide yesterday, I came across Isaiah 30:21 again. It’s a verse I’ve loved and held to for a long time, but one that I sort of forgot about.
I read it on just the right day. I love it when God does that.
I wasn’t looking in the right direction – instead of turning to God to get through this difficult week, I turned to food.
I forgot that He brings healing and hope and peace and sustenance.
I turned instead to things that bring pain – physically and emotionally – and guilt and frustration.
My prayer and challenge for this week: to stay tuned into that Voice, the one that keeps me on the path He has set for me toward healing and wholeness and victory.