a Christmas prayer

I was looking for something else this morning, and stumbled across this prayer for those who are living with the loss of loved ones this holiday season. We’ve seen so much loss this year – in our family and amongst our church – and it’s been on my heart this week as we transition from Thanksgiving to Christmas. I’ll be praying it often this year, for myself and for those around me, knowing that only Christ can give the peace, understanding and comfort that’s desired.

God of compassion, there is such a hole in my heart! Today should be a day of joy, but I feel only emptiness and loss. While the world celebrates around me, I remember Christmas celebrations of the past and I long to have my loved one with me. I bring my sorrows to you, Lord, like some odd gift of the magi and dump them at your feet. In my blind tears I wonder if anyone can possibly understand the depth of my sadness.

I know, you can. You sent your son to be with us in our deepest sorrows and I know that even though I might not feel it now, you are here with me, grieving with me, caring for me in my sadness. Dearest lord, help me to turn to the one I miss so much today and speak. Help me heal the loss of our parting and help me not to regret the things I didn’t say. Sorrow tears at my heart, but today I ask that my loss soften my heart and make me more compassionate with everyone I meet, so that my loss may become a gift to others.

~source unknown

waiting

Waiting for summer to end.

And enjoying the bounty of peaches and plums and melons and squash.

Waiting to see what it’s really going to be like to pastor two churches.

We had our first two church Sunday this week, and it worked. The kids and I can’t make both churches every Sunday, and our primary commitment is to the first one…but I’m waiting to see what our involvement will look like.

The new church invited us for a barbecue Monday evening, and we began to fall in love with this little congregation in this church that is over 130 years old and includes – surprisingly – my Algebra 1 teacher from high school and another member that went to college many years ago with one of my favorite cousins.

God’s funny sometimes.

 

And then we’ll try taking gluten out too…because he is too much like me in so many ways.

Waiting for my assistant to come back when mom and dad go back to work.

He just makes my days sunnier.

Waiting to see if everything finally falls in place for me to go back to school.

And wondering how to make that work with everything else – family, homemaking, exercise, the assistant, church.

Waiting one more week, for summer break to end and the great unknown of high school and fifth grade to begin.

Praying for good experiences, good teachers, good friends.

Waiting for new schedules to shake themselves out.

Waiting.